sasukeapologist:

i used to be so weirded out by the fact that everyone takes notes in pen in college because that seems so permanent right, what if you mess up a word, youll have to scribble it out and live with ugly notes

now that i write in pen i realize that i no longer have the strength of will to push down a pencil hard enough to make legible marks. im literally too dead inside to use a pencil. pen is the only way to make proof of my existence at this point 

supernatural-tardis:

i had a crush on this guy and i decided to pull a Pavlov on him by offering him whenever i saw him  this brand of candy he seemed to really like and after a while whenever he saw me he got excited for a second then you could see his expression shift to wondering the why the hell was he so happy to see me and i swear it was the evilest thing but also the most hilarious i made a guy like me by conditioning him into associating me to a candy he liked

sixpenceee:

Firetail Friesians, their tail and mane color are caused by sun bleaching. 

sixpenceee:

Firetail Friesians, their tail and mane color are caused by sun bleaching. 

WHEN ONE IS EXPECTING

maliciaous:

imyourdestinymotherfucker:

Today, I bought this book (for my sister, lets clarify that now ‘cause the only way I’m going anywhere near sperm is if I fall into a vat of it):

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BUT WAIT

THIS:

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IS:

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SOME:

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OF THE BRILLIANT:

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STUFF IT HAS IN IT:

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WHAT THE HELL

lakilester:

No one get’s lynched for exfoliating is the greatest come back I’ve ever witnessed.

lakilester:

No one get’s lynched for exfoliating is the greatest come back I’ve ever witnessed.

regalia-of-wisdom:

bedlamsbard:

The difference between learning a modern language and an ancient language is that in first year French you learn “Where is the bathroom?” and “How do I get to the train station?” and in first year Attic Greek or Latin you learn “I have judged you worthy of death” and “The tyrant had everyone in the city killed.”